The stars were quiet. The river spoke in some other tongue, some vernacular for fish.
“I’m sorry, God. I’m sorry I got so confused about You, got so fake. I hope it’s not too late anymore, I don’t really know who I am, who You are, or what faith looks like. But if You want to talk, I’m here now. I could feel You convicting me when I was a kid, and I feel like You are trying to get through to me. But I feel like You are an alien or something, somebody far away.”
As I lay there talking to God, being real with Him, I began to feel a bit of serenity. I felt like I was apologizing to an old friend, someone with whom there had been a sort of bitterness, and the friend was saying it was okay, and that he didn’t think anything of it. It felt like I was starting over, or just getting started. That is the thing about giving yourself to God. Some people get really emotional about it, and some people don’t feel much of anything except the peace they have after making an important decision. I felt a lot of peace.
–Blue Like Jazz
Can you relate with Donald Miller’s experience? (Author of Blue Like Jazz) I know I can. Actually, last Wednesday night I left church before it was over because I felt like I needed to get alone to a quiet place to talk with God like right then. When I finally parked my car at this little creek, I noticed how beautiful everything was around me. The sun was setting, the creek was flowing, and I felt the presence of God. My worries seemed less important or threatening. To be honest, I felt God more in those woods near that creek than I had previously felt at church. Wherever you’re willing to meet God is where he will show up. Whether it is in your church, the woods, or even in your bathtub. Anyway, I rambled on about how I was confused, how I was ashamed of how I had reacted to certain situations in my life, how I was stressed out, and I just asked for forgiveness, for peace of mind, and for Him to comfort me. Well I cried, and it was like walls were coming down because I was allowing myself to be vulnerable with him. It felt really good to just talk to Him like an old friend and catch him up with my life and everything I was feeling. It does not matter how long it has been since you have opened your bible or prayed. It does not matter if you have not been to church in a while or whatever your reason may be. As the lovely Joyce Meyer says, “It’s never too late to begin again.” So start a fresh walk with God today. He will draw near to you if you are willing to make yourself available.
Lamentations 3:22-23English Standard Version (ESV)
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness